The smell of jasmine,
wisteria and spring
woke me
leading into
the awareness of rain.
The wind chimes danced
in full desperation and anticipation.
Frogs croaked,
crickets chirped
and the valley,
flustered with joy
exhaling deeply
and mindfully.
I wanted to join the Earth,
her wetness engulfing me,
while I danced under the moonlight.
I stood on the deck,
darkness snuggling,
cuddling my humanness,
hollowing the spaces of gratitude
breathing with intensity and love
as everything became silent
during this intimate voyeurism.
I am awake.
I am here.
I am divinity.
I am….

Lessons from Dying


Death is a taboo.  No one wants to discuss it or face it because the fear of it is greater than the reality. I remember reading some article years ago that when asked thousands of people what their biggest fear was they said “death: mine or someone near to me.”  This type of death we have been taught to fear is an illusion and only a transition.  Now three months later I have woken to deeper lessons of dying.

Lesson 1:  The hardest part of dying is waking up.  I traveled to a beautiful place.  The light that embraced me felt like nothing here on earth.  Makes you wonder why anyone would want to return, huh?  I asked that question for a month and a half.  We return from that experience just because we must (it doesn’t help that someone is pulling your butt away from the light either).  There’s no great mystery to it.  There are moments in my days that seem to stop me for a bit and I return to that place of safety, love, and omnipotence.  In waking up there is the melting of illusion.  Life is a magical experience.  Yet, most people take it for granted, bogged down with the control, anxiety, and fear of living the lengths and widths of such a fortitude.

Lesson 2:  Your body is a great wardrobe.  Every morning I have to re-size myself to fit into this skin.  I wake with such immensity.  That was a huge issue when I returned from the “beyond.”  I didn’t fit into my body.  There was this expansion and greatness that didn’t modify to what I knew was Millie’s body.  I looked around me and saw everyone’s light so much larger than their costume.  I kept asking myself, “How do I get inside and stay in there?”  I stopped trying.  I just went with it.  Your body is the best outfit you will ever have.  Treat it with kindness and love.  Give it the consideration it deserves.   Your heart beats to keep you alive along with every organ in that outfit.  Love it!

Lesson 3:  Growth is marvelous; stagnation sucks; laughter is the teacher of all.  This doesn’t read like a lesson but I promise it is one of my favorites.  I don’t know the problem anymore to anything.  I see the potential to the story, the event, the issue, and the whatever.  I see the drama behind the words when someone is sharing with me the woes and stagnation.  And, then I witness that turning those situations around and noticing the ridiculous insanity to them creates laughter.  Growth is a conscious effort to move beyond what is not real. We all have the capacity to move past what doesn’t serve us, or causes us hurt.  Nothing is easy.  If it was then we would not learn from it at all.  Let joy be your travel agent through these stories you keep reliving.

Lesson 4: Love is the source.  It is the only source of the universe.  It is the only source of your being.  Love is all.  You want love?  Look in the mirror.  It starts with you.  Forgive others.  What they think of you is their own issues and a reflection of their own insecurities.  The beginning and end of all is you.

Lesson 5:   Live now.  Don’t wait for the children to leave home, the parents to pass on, the retirement check to start rolling in, and the won’ts and can’ts that make absolutely no sense to the present moment.  Live for today!  Make a gratitude journal.  Walk outside for five minutes.  Be alone.  Be with people.  Laugh at yourself at least one time every hour.  Look at the sky and its infinite wonders.  Look at yourself and your greatness.  Live every moment with awareness that you are on borrowed time.   You know that feeling when you go on vacation and everything is just perfectly special?  The moments are full of joy and just being away from your normal life is soothing?  Well that’s your privilege for living.  Make your life a vacation.  Even in vacations there’s work to be done, but you don’t mind it, right?  Play!  Pick a childlike moment and return to it.  Life is what you make of it.

I would be lying if I said that my life is peachy ALL the TIME. I still ride the emotional roller coaster of struggles and disappointments that then dip into man-made stories of doubt.  If everything was enlightening all the time I wouldn’t stop and learn anything.  The difference now is that I understand why those lessons appear in my path.  I also desire to grasp and incorporate everything to the wholeness of me. I am grateful for visiting with deep emotions: anger, sorrow, joy, forgiveness, compassion and love (to name a few).   I believed in magic before dying.  Now I live it every day.  You go do the same!!!

The Deciding Factor

letting go

How do we let go? Some people believe that anchoring ourselves to something is of great courage, strength, and honor. These are signs and adjectives for letting go, not holding on. There are times when it takes an audacious spirit of bravery to realize that letting go is a means of survival. Letting go is not failure, on the contrary, it is the door to victory.

Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care about that thing, that person, that event, that circumstance, or whatever else has you imprisoned with hopelessness. Letting go means that those things served their purpose to teach, mold, embrace and give you a sense of freedom. Letting go is finally releasing that which caused major control in your life.
Yesterday I spent the day with my little cousins (ages 5 – 9). We were making fairy houses for our woods. Every so often I would hear one of them complain that “I can’t do this, or I can’t make that.” I finally expressed to them that “can’t” is not a nice word. “Can’t” stops you from moving forward. The word “can’t” should not be in their vocabulary. Every other time they said it they caught themselves (sometimes looking at me and putting their hands over their little mouths) and changed the word. They were letting go of an old behavior that stops them from trying, growing, and moving forward. Letting go applies to so much more than just breaking off from a life decision!
When it comes to letting go of people and relationships we truly hang on to the side of a cliff. We leave claw marks on the rocks. We walk a tightrope from one valley to another. It is amazing the things we do to force a circle into a small square. It’s fantastic to watch how liberating it is to finally let go of the control. The illusion of control diminishes our worth. Fear of change added to the idea of failure equals stagnation and heartbreak.
I woke this morning letting go. I opened my eyes and breathed in the humidity as the rain is being held by clouds. Nature has a way of dumping and never looking back. Once it releases it doesn’t think, “Oh, crap did I do that right? Should I had let go of that rain, that storm, that hurricane? Man, what will these humans think of me?” It is in our nature to do the same. All we had to do is face those things that no longer serve our spirit. The word “can’t” has no business being part of your language. Do it! Releasing those things that no longer serve you is the deciding factor.

“Come to the cliff, he said.
They said, we are afraid.
Come to the cliff, he said.
They came.
He pushed them.
And they flew.”

Charmin’ Life


My cousins visited this weekend. One of them is in her twenties and has such a tremendous insight to life with so much gusto that you can’t help but get sucked into her passion. She’s married to a wonderful young man who is…well, bigger than life. Anything he thinks about he gets because he believes it. He’s Mr. VIP! When I say this I mean it. You meet him and immediately get bombarded by optimism and motivation. Having her here alone as she shared stories about Mr. VIP (Rami) I was completely mesmerized. This young generation (of my own kids’ ages) is truly aspiring for more than when I was their age. They KNOW that there is no wasted time to get from here to there. Things need to be done NOW. I love that. My cousin, Tatiana, was in the military. She is phenomenal (helps that she has amazing parents). Her husband, Mr. VIP, is truly on his way to becoming a younger Tony Robbins…well, maybe just for me and that’s perfectly acceptable.
Things are changing. We aren’t waiting to retire to do the things we always wanted to do. Those in their twenties are coming into the adult world with an idea of how they want to live their lives. In my generation it has taken two decades to finalize those thoughts and still wonder, “Am I on the right track?” And, this is fine. Time is an illusion. It slips through our hands when we try to control it.
Tatiana shared a quote from her husband, Rami, “Everything you want for your life is a conversation away.” I sat there, opened mouth, holding my breath, finally making her repeat the words slowly. This is manifestation. This is the power of intention. If you can’t converse with another you can’t learn or move on. Everything in life is only one word away. WOW! Isn’t that fantastic?
We are taught not to ask for help. We have been conditioned to work things out on our own. Vulnerability has been passed along as a weakness. I find myself opening up more and more. Just writing and sharing has taken me beyond my own expectations. Why? Because ‘everything I want for me is only a conversation away.’ Plain and simple!
What do you want? How do you want it? Who will you share your life’s passion with? What will it require for you to get there? What is your greatest fear? What’s the worst case scenario? Go to those dark places you refuse to visit inside and ask those questions. Share them with others. Life is not meant to be a struggle alone. You have others with you.
I recently met a man at the grocery store check-out line. He asked why I was loading up on so much toilet paper. I have an issue with toilet paper (this is maybe a little personal for the blog but go with me on this). I only buy Charmin brand. I have been rich and I have been poor but I will not settle for any other brand. When it is on special I get a lot of it. I have an illogical concern of running out of my toilet paper. Silly, huh? What he noticed was that I bought a different brand in bulk (which is for the motel/retreat center). In his curiosity I saw some judgment. I explained that my ass couldn’t handle anything else other than Charmin. He laughed. My openness surprised and probably shocked him. There was a few but’s (and not the ones you wipe or sit on) and I explained to him this, “I know what I want. I know what I like. I know I have to work extra hard to get those few things I won’t substitute or change. These are the things that mold me, break me when I am in fear, and the things that humor me when I am in joy.” The older gentleman laughed, smiled, and truly got it. He got out of line and went to get some Charmin. What changed? I don’t know. Perhaps he wanted to feel the same simplicity of my joy. Conversations are contagious. Make them great. Share…even in such ridiculous moments of being way too opened with a stranger. I am who I am. You are who you are. Make no excuses for the life you live and it’s authenticity. And, that my friends, is beautiful. We are all connected via words, a glance, a touch, and a story.
Even though Mr. VIP wasn’t here this weekend his stories became mine. And, I am forever grateful! Sometimes you are the teacher and other times you are the student. Life is a classroom!

Knots of Humanity


We all.

There’s no mistake
in color, shape,
geography, religion,
preferences, belief….
The same spec of dust
from the beginning of time
runs through
veins, heart, consciousness,
lifeline and lifetimes
in each of us.

I love YOU
in loving me.
There’s no accident,
only the synchronicity
of our union
through the nothingness
and the knowing –
Or the never meeting
except within
the same air passing
through our lungs,
the same moon
guiding our nights,
the same sun witnessing
the birth of a new day.

Life is the thread
that keeps us tied
in the perfect knot
to the All of divinity.

Thank you,
Thank YOU,


Alchemist of Intention

Today’s article for The Master Shift.  Hope you enjoy it!





Accept me into you
as a random act
from the universe
picking us to meet…
magnetically reconnecting.
Let me in,
plan to be surprised,
by what is and isn’t
beyond this place,
and expect answers
of yeses and no’s to mold
our union into one.
This is the mystery of souls gathering
again and again
without rejection or judgment.
Live in this excitement.
Join me in this joy.
Take me to those places
you go
without hesitation
and plan on being surprised
for finding me once more
in love with you,
in love with life,
in love.

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