Listen

Listen to me

as I understand

isolation,

anxiety,

helplessness,

but let it be known

that it is your mind

not your heart that cripples you

from finding happiness.

 

Listen to me,

if you would let your strength

echo onto the world

it will control all that is not

because we are connected

by a thread of compassion,

love, grace

and truth.

 

Listen to me

and don’t let doubt

dictate who you think you are

but set those echoes

to travel on their own

and be who you really are

which is complete amazement,

divine consciousness of wonder,

and the sum of every life you’ve touched.

 

Listen to me

for all that is said

and unspoken

as time washes over you

because we are footsteps

going forward

never able to go back,

only straight to the heart of love

and all that it will open for you.

 

Listen to me

and I will sit

with all your doubts

and fears

even in silence

I know your trembling heart

and I want you to be free

of the judgment you place of on yourself.

 

Listen to me,

love what you see

and see what you love

and let it take you,

mold you,

make you joyous for this life

while not letting unfairness

make who you are not.

Allow each step you take

move you away from fear

into the arms of Spirit

and the calling of your higher self.

 

I will carry you if you ask.

I will take your burdens from you.

Let your faith pull you towards me –

not push away.

 

I am listening to you…

The voice of sages and wisdom are in you…

You are Oneness.

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Leaves of Heart

leaf-heart

I find pieces of me

in every leaf that falls

dancing

twirling

colorful

slow-motioned

and freely

dipping onto earth

without a care

or judgment.

The trees exasperate

breathing endlessly

for such release

like thousands

of tears

sending small rainbows

to the world.

I want to bring joy

and wonder

for one second

to another who can see

the presence of me falling

in love

over and over

smiling from my heart

like autumn leaves

canvassed through the mountains

awaiting the letting go

of magic one last time.

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Changes in the Season

PQR in the FallThe other day, on a rare hike in the morning, I was observing the fall colors and how some trees have changed quicker than others.  They all know their rhythm.  Nature has its timing.  I often wonder if there is a stubborn tree out in the forest that says, “I ain’t changing!  I am staying green.  I’ve decided this year to surpass all the seasons and just remain still. Y’all go ahead and do your thing.”   There isn’t.  Nature has a process and the trees, soil, leaves, water, and everything else complies.  They don’t question change.  We do.  We fight as long as our egos can dictate.

How many times don’t we resist?  And as that old saying, “What we resist persists!”  Our human nature is to make things more complicated, to question all, and to resist against changes.  It would be too easy to just go with the flow.  It is always difficult to battle with resistance from our human perspective.  Our ego’s main job is to make certain that we continue to fight.  What we want is not always what completes us.  We seem to deviate from our original wants and then blame the universe for not getting what we think we deserve.

In my walk I noticed that some trees have not only turned bright red, but others have already lost all their leaves.  The fall season has arrived early this year in the mountains.  It also began extra early in me.  I tend to start going inward as the cold sets in.  I don’t like winter.  I don’t enjoy a single minute of it…the gloominess, the short days, the freeze, the moving inward.  I just don’t like where it takes me.  I need sunshine, being outside, and interacting with the earth.  I understand that I need the time to slow down and take care of me.  I get the whole philosophy about seasons changing.  It doesn’t mean I have to like it.  I tend to resist everything about having to move inward.

We spend our lives not feeling the truth of who we are, and not really knowing consciously what we want.  When we come in alignment with our desires through Divine wisdom we must take a look at the reflection realizing that whatever we manifest is exactly who we are meant to be. This year I plan on being extra gentle with myself.  I hope you follow your heart and wishes to comply with the rhythm of the earth this season.  Fall is beautiful.  It allows for letting go (without resistance) of the old just like the shedding of leaves.  Have a blessed day!

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Seeds of the Soul

It’s been several challenging weeks away from technology with the exception of a few emails. Spending time away from social media has allowed me to find the simplicity in life. I’m not quite back as I cringe surfing my computer.  I have witnessed changes in me and worked on strengthening my beliefs.  I have enjoyed the entering of fall. I love the way the cool autumn breeze has touched me lately.  I leave the windows opened just enough to feel their tenacious mischief in the night, tickling parts of my hair and skin.  I love how every morning there is more color and leaves on the ground crackling with movement and ending the cycle of another season.  There is a season to everything and watching the leaves fall becoming mulch defines the ending of this season of exhaustion.  Somewhere in the midst of these months I lost myself inside of me.  It’s as if a seed was planted with hope for growth but nothing sprouted.  I have been stuck in the dirt.  And, now as I observe the window of the world I see that I stopped watering the seed.  It’s been me…no one else to blame.  In moments like this I am quickly reminded of life and its precious commodities.  Life is fragile.

Yesterday our 19 month old kitty cat, my mate’s best buddy that he raised from birth, died on the road in front of our place.  I have engraved an image of a gentle giant digging up a hole in our woods to bury his sweet friend.  I will forever remember the way he caressed him as he placed him in the dirt and then scattered the soil over him under a beautiful tree. I will hold in my memory the way he walked away, head down, holding in an inexplicable pain for this event.  It is said that grief is that last act of love we provide those we have loved.  The deeper the grief the more we have given of ourselves.  I don’t know if this is what’s been coming up for over a month and now with this loss it has magnified itself into an unseen force.  Perhaps this is the sadness that engulfs me in the middle of the night choking the core of me.  I don’t know.  But, something has been missing, a vastness of space and time I cannot recapture.  It could be middle age regrets for not having done more, cared deeper, forgiven quicker or released instantly.  Letting go is a lesson I’ve acquired throughout the years.  It hasn’t always been this way.  I don’t want to dwell on the sadness.  I want to let the choking come and go, honoring its presence and awareness with love.  Grieving in silence is part of our humanity.  We don’t have to do it but sometimes we must travel those places alone.  It’s okay.  It’s always okay because it is our picking.  In letting those moments come and go I realize that I get to choose the suffering entering and leaving.  It doesn’t choose me.  And, that alone is enough to accept the grieving process for yesterday and bring joy for today.   In gratitude lives the truth of who we are. Sometimes we have to dig deeply and restart with another seed to sprout and grow.   Other times we have to dig and bury the things we love with all our hearts.

Now with the loss of a pet and friend I sit feeling the numbness of it all.  We have gone through this before.  It is always deafening in the depth of unspoken words.  My heart goes out to Matt.  My heart goes out to my daughter who found him as she was heading to work.  My heart is stretched and properly signaling the change in our home.  Things are shifting, changing and pushing lately in a way that seems to forget about time.  I am consciously staying present.  It has been a few weeks of intense lessons.  Just like the falling leaves I have allowed things to fall out as well.

I continue to count my blessings.  The days come and go, feeling the changes in the air, and praying for strength to weather the diversities.  The beauty of fall is in the scarves, sweaters, and warm socks to shelter the spirit.  “Pumpkin everything” becomes the theme.  I indulge in the small things like gathering seeds for next year, cleaning the garden and allowing nature to sleep for a while.  I love the way that decomposed soil welcomes me with all this rain.  I love the way I can sense rain before a forecast.  I love that I can still smile at the dance of trees in the forest.  And, I love that I can bring myself out of this funk when I allow myself to play.  Whether it is grieving, releasing, guilt, shame, or loss there is no act of human emotion that cannot be modified through the heart and the higher consciousness of love.   I am grateful for friends who know how to touch the core of my sadness and hold a cup of hot chocolate to get it out in the open allowing me to remember…this is real life.

 “Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant.”~ Robert Louis Steven

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Breathing Space

My Dear Amazing Readers,

For several weeks now I’ve had this inkling of retrieving from the information highway.   Each time I’ve gone on a hike or taken my long walks into the wilderness, I’ve had a gentle voice nudging me to go inward.  And, I don’t mean for an hour in my morning meditations.  People go to monasteries, pilgrimages, and retreats to center and ground themselves.  I live in the most amazing place in the mountains of Western North Carolina.  I have all the makings of such a place.  People from all over the globe come here to find that peace.  I marvel at their awareness from the moment they enter the property until they leave.  So, after a busy summer season, and what is now a busy fall one, I know I need to listen to the voice gently expressing the need for rest.

I am taking a sabbatical from writing.  I am making my own breathing space of quietude.  I don’t know for how long…going to try for 30 days.  I deactivated my Facebook account yesterday.  That felt good!  I just want to have no distractions of interacting with cyber space.  I want to move gently through the next few weeks and be detached.  Obviously, I have a business to run, a 9 month old to care for, so I mean detached from my own blah-blah-blah-ness of external chaos. My spirit is nudging me to take this break.  I am truly exhausted from reading/writing my own thoughts and transpiring into the Internet.   Sometimes a lot is way too much!  It’s time to simplify and return to the good ole handwritten journal that smudges with tears, food stains, and outdoor living.

I thank you all for your constant words of encouragement, support and thoughts.  I am humbled by the amount of love out there for the words that I write. I still can’t believe anyone follows me on this site!  It is an honor to share and interact with y’all. But, at this present moment this feels right.  I think we all need a break every so often.  I urge you to do the same whenever you can so that your soul can recharge.  This is my vacation.  I find the voice gently getting excited at the thought of no technology.

My only plan for the next 30 days is to hike before it gets too cold, visit waterfalls, watch autumn evolve into its breathtaking beauty in the mountains, and just sit with myself as often as I can.  I want to get to know this woman who has endured so much in 9 months: from a near death experience, to raising another child, to helping others through divine guidance.  I have always been a horrible phone person so I won’t make excuses for not answering!  Silence is sometimes the loudest voice out there.  It’s whimsically exciting to hear it for a few weeks.   I can put on a costume of social grace with the business…I just can’t seem to put one on for me at all times in my personal life.  My inner child is yearning this moment to get to the root of some clearing from the past (amazing the things that come up when you stop the distractions).  There are still some little monsters lurking in the closet.  And, I feel this time will be about finding the courage to finally release them.

So until then…keep writing your beautiful blogs.  Keep inspiring each other and yourselves.  I will be back in just a few.  Have a great month!

Much love and light to all….Millie

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Falling

I fell in love…

s-l-o-w-l-y

and then

abruptly,

like the rough edges

of a mountain

letting one go.

…I…

t

u

m

b

l

e

d

all at once

into your arms

and you

caught me

kissing life back into

my soul.

 

I’ve not quite landed YET!

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Make Time for Play

Playtime in the water

I am the happiest when I am picking up rocks, getting dirty in a river or creek, making mud pies after the rain has passed through.  I wasn’t allowed to do this as a child.  Cleanliness was a virtue, right up there with Godliness.  Now as a middle aged woman I get to revert to playing as much as possible.  Very few people know this side of me.  This is my private and goofy time to interact with Mother Earth.  My best friend took this photo on hiking trip last year up the Blue Ridge Parkway to Graveyard Fields.  The water was cold but so spectacularly clear.  I saw a rock, heard it calling for me to fetch it in the middle of the river, and I had to go after it.  Almost lost my balance in the slippery algae-filled stones but I laughed all the way back to the edge.

The presence of something greater than me lives in these mountains and beacons for me to join the mysteries.  I cannot teach this to others, or encourage them to follow me into the depth of rivers fishing out whatever is enticing me.  All I know that in those moments I am not joyous, I am pure ecstasy.  I am not happy, I am complete contentment.  I beam with giddiness, laughter, and the innocence of a child.  The city girl with high heels, hoop earrings and great outfits is still in me.  But, I have witnessed the stripping of superficialities. I love the simplicity of holding a rock in my hands and feeling the energy of the Divine.  I enjoy taking a shower and witnessing parts of the earth drain away from me.   I never understand how I get mud in my ears and hair when I haven’t been completely submerged in the waters.  Somehow the Earth wants me to take pieces of Her home.

I only hope that in the midst of busyness, craziness, and modern life routines you can take time to play in whatever calls for you.  You will always find the truth of who you are by growing down rather than up.  Silliness is marvelous!

To speak truly, few adult persons can see nature.  Most persons do not see the sun.  At least they have a very superficial seeing.  The sun illuminates only the eye of the man, but shines into the eye and heart of the child.  The lover of nature is he whose inward and outward senses are still truly adjusted to each other; who has retained the spirit of infancy even into the era of manhood.”  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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